Moving Forward

Our entire family has experienced what I think has to be the worst 24 hours in our lives. Poor Addison has had an exceptionally hard 48 hours of being poked, prodded, and pricked. After her double bone marrow biopsy on Wednesday the doctor called me around 5:30 and told me the pathologist called him with alarming news. He saw 20% lymphoblasts in her marrow and blood smears. The pathologist was concluding Addison had pre B-cell Acute Lymphatic Leukemia. All of the doctors in the practice were completely shocked by his findings as they have never seen leukemia present itself like this. I asked the Dr if he could be wrong but he said probably not with the percentage being that high. He told us the only way to know for sure is to come back Thursday morning to the hospital and get ANOTHER biopsy and aspirate and also to draw spinal fluid to make sure the leukemia has not traveled to her nervous system. They were going to do a flow cytometery test on the aspirate which shows the specific marker on the cells that identify them as leukemia. About 30 minutes after the Dr called a nurse from the hospital called to go over what we needed to do to prepare Addison for the procedure and also that we were being admitted to the hospital immediately after the procedure to start her first round of chemotherapy. This was not explained to me by any doctor and I pretty much lost it. After everything we have been through and then to have them tell me they are 99% sure my daughter now has leukemia and we need to start chemo immediately to be aggressive...I just couldn't grasp what they were telling me. Charles was still on his plane to Boston so I couldn't even talk to him about it. I can't even explain the surge of emotions that we were feeling. It was hard to breathe to say the least. I just kept begging God to make this happen to me and not Addison. She doesn't deserve any of this.

Reva, Addison and I got to the hospital at 9:20 and Charles and my sister flew in and were there by 10. My parents flew all night from Seattle and arrived around 11. Charlotte drove over and got there about 3. Accessing the port was extremely traumatic for Addison again and afterward she gave everyone the cold shoulder for about 5 minutes...including me! :( Her counts were slightly better except her platelets which were at 26. They have to be above 30 for the procedures so she had to get a platelet transfusion. I was not thrilled about that. Finally at 1:30 Addison went back for her procedure. Keep in mind she couldn't eat or drink AGAIN today. The waiting while she is back in the OR is horrible. I am happy to report Addison woke up so happy this time from anesthesia! Charles and I walked back and there was our 17 month old precious baby girl looking like she was 4 years old. She was propped up on a bed with her Addy pillow behind her, a pretty blanket wrapped around her with all her stuffed animals surrounding her and she was calling mommy and daddy on the hospital phone! She then sucked down three apple juices and scarfed down 3 graham crackers and she was ready to rock and roll. She didn't seem to be bothered that she now had 6 holes in her back.

We went up to her new hospital room and fed Addison some real food while we waited for the results of the flow cytometry. We also became a little more educated on chemo and her first round would include a shot of chemo into her spinal column which would mean three days in a row being put under. UGH!

The Dr we had met with that morning who use to be the director of the hematology/oncology department came to our room around 5:30 to tell us the flow cytometry showed NO LEUKEMIA! yes this is absolutely wonderful news and we were so thankful. On the flip side we sat there looking dumb founded because we didn't know if we should believe them. How could they make us think our daughter had this terrible cancer if there was still a chance it wasn't true? Apparently the pathologist saw immature lymphocytes (WBC) which can resemble leukemia blasts. It appears her bone marrow is on the mend and it is spitting out a high number of these new baby cells and the pathologist saw such a huge amt which is rare and assumed they were cancer. This is obviously unacceptable but now is a time to put this behond us and celebrate and not be mad. There will be a time for that but as of today we are enjoying Addison and trying to make sure she doesn't remember this horrible experience. And of course thanking God for the good news!